Signs of anxiety in children, the difference between normal and needing support, and five steps you can take at home.
Every child is afraid, worried or hesitant about new situations from time to time. This is a natural part of development. But if worry lasts long, is intense and limits the child's daily life, professional support may be needed.
What does anxiety look like in children?
Children often show anxiety through body and behaviour rather than words:
- Complaints without a found cause, such as stomach ache, headache or nausea
- Crying on school mornings, not wanting to go to school
- Sleep problems, nightmares, refusing to go to bed alone
- Constantly asking for reassurance ("Nothing will happen, right?")
- Outbursts of anger and restlessness
- Perfectionism, erasing and rewriting homework repeatedly
Normal, or in need of support?
These questions give a yardstick: Has the worry lasted longer than 4–6 weeks? Does it disrupt school, friendships or family life? Is it too much for the child's age? If you answer "yes" to any of them, talking to a specialist is useful.
What can be done at home?
- Name the feeling: Saying "Your stomach may hurt because there is a presentation at school; are you worried?" gives the child a voice.
- Avoid too much reassurance: Constantly saying "nothing will happen" can feed anxiety; "You can carry this feeling, and I am with you" is more empowering.
- Do not support avoidance: Constantly avoiding school or social settings increases anxiety. Plan to approach in small steps together.
- Build routines: Regular sleep, meals and screen limits reduce anxiety.
- Manage your own anxiety: Children learn from the parent's reaction.
What happens in therapy?
Play therapy and drawing work are used for children aged 4–11, and a cognitive-behavioural approach after age 12. Regular meetings with parents strengthen support at home. Most children show clear improvement within 10–16 sessions.
This article is for information only. If your child voices thoughts of self-harm, call 112 immediately or go to the nearest emergency department.
Working with the school
Keeping regular contact with the school counsellor makes it easier to understand how anxiety shows at school. Sharing situations in which the child struggles in class (presentations, roll call, break time) with the teacher gives the child the chance of gradual, supported exposure.
Anxiety in teenagers
In teenagers anxiety often shows up as irritability, withdrawal and isolation. Social media comparisons, academic pressure and peer relationships feed it. Talking to a teenager without judgement is the most important way to keep their willingness to share with you.